Unrantiferous

I’m afraid I’m too worried about actual problems at the moment to feel justified in writing a long Rant about imaginary ones.  I suppose I could do a short list instead.  Here, then, are the Top Six Reasons I Am Unhappy With My Boots:

6)  When I put them on, my left big toe begins hurting like crazy.  I don’t know why this is.  It doesn’t hurt at all when I’m not wearing my boots.

5)  I have a bad habit of dragging my heels.  I do it so persistently that I generally end up wearing the heels of my boots away.  The heels of these particular boots are so worn that they can probably most accurately be described as “completely gone.”  If I rock backwards on my heels too far, I fall over.

4)  I’m not sure what the point of boots that height is.  They’re too low to keep the snow out but too high to count as ankle boots.  They certainly aren’t a fashion statement.  I don’t really get them.  They were the only ones in the entire store that fit me.

3)  They are always covered with salt, meaning that…

2)  They are beginning to leak.  I think the salt has eroded the leather.

1)  Because of my weirdly shaped feet, they cost about the same amount one would pay for, say, a banjo, and they haven’t lasted nearly as long.  I wish I wasn’t always being disappointed by my boots.  That’s life, I suppose.