Dear 8:00 a.m. Monday Three-Hour Classes:
I mean absolutely no disrespect when I say I cannot help but feel very strongly that you shouldn’t exist at all. I do understand that there are 1) only so many hours in the day and 2) only so many classrooms in the university, but forcing first-year undergraduates to attend a mandatory critical-analysis class that early on a Monday morning is simply cruel. It’s cruel to the instructor as well. I am used to running three-hour classes, but I find that even one held at a sane time of day leaves me drained. An 8:00 a.m. class renders me boneless and incoherent for the rest of the day. Oh, I’m fine in the class itself, but I pay for it afterwards.
Only once before have I had an 8:00 a.m. class to teach. Coincidentally, it was also on a Monday, though it was about television rather than critical analysis. The students used to line their Tim Hortons cups up on the desks in front of them. There must have been thirty Tim Hortons cup in the classroom at any given time. The day at the end of the term on which I brought doughnuts, I cracked that we would have made a great commercial for Tim Hortons. Such observations seem hilarious at 8:00 on a Monday morning.
I haven’t met my Monday morning students yet this year, but chances are I’ll have done so by the point you read this Rant. I just hope they’re awake enough to form coherent thoughts. They may not be. I may not be. I suppose we’ll just have to wait and see.
Perhaps someday, someone will ban 8:00 a.m. Monday three-hour classes. Until then, dearest 8:00 a.m. Monday Three-Hour Classes, I suppose we’ll all just have to learn to live with you. Damn it all anyway.